Geek Sheik - Song #7

Geek Sheik by Rich Baker (Rap)

I am Geek Sheik. King of the Nerds
Here’s my theseauras where I come up with words
Wanna know about me? Can you handle it?
Sit back and hear the rhymes that I spit!

I gotta solid gold Xbox with spinner rims
A diorama of the Secret of NIMH
The original screenplay from Episode IV
I collect more rings than the Green Lantern Corps

All the chicks line up in Wonder Woman tights
With my infared telescope I’ve got you in my sights
Girl, you very fine with your Lois Lane looks
Wanna make love to you on a bed of comic books

(Chorus)
I’m Geek Sheik livin’ large
Like Scott Baio on Charles in Charge
I’m Geek Sheik you better know what’s what
I’m livin’ phat like Jaba the Hut

I’ll take you to magical places like when Dorothy was dreamin’
Get with me and your emoticons will be screamin’
I’ll please you girl and you’ll like it a lots
Brace yourself for 1.21 Gigawatts!

I’m so good I can explain the full plot to Lost. It’s so hectic
Without a calculator I can convert standard to metric
I’m the chessmaster commanding the pawns
Want to hear a sonnet translated into Klingon?

I tear up the dance floor like Napoleon Dynamite
I quote old kitch films like Rad and Dolemite
I collect toys from old Happy Meals
I’m awkward at street slang fo’ reelz!

C’mon girl, it’s time to get naughty
I got all the cheat codes to your body
Get with me, baby and I’ll rock your world
It’d be almost as good as a five way with all four Golden Girls

I get down in between your thighs
Let me dock my starshsip enterprise
I’ll have you screamin’ for more, more, more, mordor…and the eye of saramon
You’ll be my Prescious!

I don’t go to dance clubs or hang out in bars
If I wanna leave the house I borrow my mom’s car
Ain’t no part time fanboy I’m king don’t you see?
All bow down I am the final fantasy!

(Chorus)
I’m Geek Sheik like Bill Gates
Girl you’re like a verb I wanna conjugate
I’m Geek Sheik like Steve Jobs
In the realm of nerds I’m the head of the mob

(Bridge)
I write computer code for my salary
My best friend online is from Calgary
My kryptonite is my allergies
Farmer’s Lung is the name of a real malady
Love songs are usually ballady
Wouldn’t mind hookin’ up with a Valkyrie
The Microsoft Paperclip is a pal to me
All the other nerds in the world shall bow to me

(Chorus)
I’m Geek Sheik and everybody knows
My BluRay Player has every MST3K show
I’m Geek Sheik yeah that’s me
I haven’t seen the sun in three weeks
I’m Geek Sheik
I’m Geek Sheik
Geek Sheik!