Marian the Unitarian - Song #6

Marian the Unitarian by Rich Baker

This is the tale of Marian the Unitarian

(Verse)
Marian was born in the middle of Nebraska
Travled all the country from Miami to Alaska
Then she went abroad from Austrailia to Japan
She met up with Brazilians, Taiwanese, and Scandinavians

(Verse)
She learned different cultures. Ate different foods.
Befriended all kinds of people and mostly they were good.
When she came back to her home in the states
And settled into life where she could acclimate.

(Verse)
She thought about religion and what it all meant
There was a Baptist church, and Presbyterian, and even a convent
This decision she believed was quite an important one
She’d seen so many different ways of life. How to settle for just one?

(Verse)
Every week she went out to a different house of prayer
A spiritual sampler she was for almost a full year
And there were many great things she found about each of them
Like inner peace, karma, and transubstantiation.

(Verse)
Not ever wanting to make a choice for fear she would be wrong
She went to a place where everything was okay. Everyone got a long.
There were no fights, no tiffs, no hundred year old schism
It was a place called Unitarian Universalism

(Chorus)
And she became Marian the Unitarian
She was a model of the good Samaritan
Marian the Unitarian
She joined the church council as the parliamentarian.

(Bridge)
Everyone loved Marian in her neighborhood
When people sought advice on who was right she’d say, ‘it’s all good.’
Where do eat tonight? At the burger joint? Pizza? Chinese?
Marian smiled and said, “Let’s combine all three!”
No one is wrong. Everyone is right.
If we all were Marian. The wars would stop tonight.
No specific dogma that you need to know
Everything’s correct. Just go with the flow.

(Chorus)
She’s Marian the Unitarian.
She got a job as a librarian.
No meat for a vegetarian.
Her grandfather’s an octogenarian
Mother Theresa was a humanitarian
Baby making is ovarian

(Verse)
She believes in the inherent worth and dignity of every person
The only word I thought to rhyme with this is Gena Gershon
But she’s pretty hot so I’m okay with this
And Marian would never judge me for rhyming this with this

(Chorus)
She’s Marian the Unitarian
I bet she’s not popular in Iran
She’s Marian the Unitarian
Quite the opposite of a sectarian

She’s Marian the humanitarian, vegetarian, humanitarian, Unitarian.