Vampirate! - Song#40

Vampirate! by Rich Baker

What if a lady vampire was haunting one night
And a ship sailed to shore in her sight?
She planned to attack the crew, but to her surprise
She fell in love when she looked into the captain’s eyes

What if a pirate led his ship to a dock
And saw upon the shore a girl with an ethereal walk?
His plan to rape and pillage every girl he’d see
Ended when he saw her face and his heart skipped a beat

(Chorus)
This is what happens when a pirate and vampire fall in love
When treasure burying meets bloodthirsty
Like Captain Hook and Dracula hooking up
Oh what a phenomenal sight to see

A strange couple they made, but no one stared
With his sword and gun and her fangs all were scared
People crossed the street and moved away with trepidation
But they got in the finest restaurants without a reservation

He’d get drunk and shoot someone
She’d turn into a bat
He’d impale some dude with his sword
And she’d still be a bat

(Chorus)

They were truly in love smiling and holding hands
They would sail the seven seas and make life plans
They overcame the difficulties which came up often
After all it’s hard to make love inside a coffin

But time moved on and she was expecting
This half undead baby was going to need protecting
As it would not be delivered from the stork
Townsfolk might gather with torches and pitchforks

(Chorus)

(Bridge)
The baby was born with half a blue beard
And his own harem which for a baby was kinda weird
His father’s jondis and his mother’s allergy to the sun
By one year he could already seduce human women and fire a gun
Half hell spawn and half adventurer of the sea
He stayed away from garlic, baths, and water that was holy
He got a sweet movie deal. A Hollywood hit.
He was the badass half and half Vampirate

(Chorus)