Captain Average - Song #18

Captain Average by Rich Baker

Some people are really tall
Some are really thin
Some have really long hair
Some have darker skin

People come in all different shapes
And several different personalities
Me? I help anchor it all in place
I’m the average of all of these

(Chorus)
I’m the average white man
I won’t stand out in a crowd
Five foot eleven, short thinning hair
Not too soft, not too loud
No crazy scars, no tatoos
Not overweight, not muscled up
Not horribly ugly
By no means a handsome stud
I’m Mr. Average
I’m Mr. Average

For a long time I was bothered,
I was quite mad
I wanted to be bigger and better looking
Angered at my mom and my dad

Why’m I not taller
or have a real deep voice?
I’d have millions of dollars or dunk a basketball
If it were my choice.

I thought I was a no one
Nothing of consequence
Just an average dude
Always on the defense

Then one day I realized
I wasn’t gonna change
My statistics are what they are
No trade for a new body, no exchange

So, instead of spending time wishing
And dreaming about what I’m not
I embraced my normal regularness
And make the most of what I got

(Chorus)
I’m Captain Average
Not a superhero at all
I’m Captain Average
Not too short or too tall
I’m Captain Average
And I’ll be the best one I can be
I’m Captain Average
This acceptance sets me free
I’m Captain Average
I’m Captain Average

Sure I still have a thought now and then
Running in the touchdowns in the NFL
Or even the president in D.C.
Or flying spaceships. What the hell?

But no longer do those thoughts make me bitter
Or cause me any pain
Cause I’m doing just fine
I got no reason to complain

I’m Captain Average!
I’m Captain Average!