Why You Haven't Called - Song #4

Why You Haven’t Called by Rich Baker

It’s been almost a week now since our first date.
I’ve thought about you since then every day
And I waited to call you so it wasn’t right away
But that was five days now and I’m starting the think

(Chorus)
You haven’t called me.
What’s the deal?
Did I offend you when we ate our meal?
You haven’t called me.
What went wrong?
I’ve got a few ideas and put them into song.

That night after dinner you went back to your home
And got a late night call on your cell phone
Your mother called to tell you your uncle had died
You never met him but he left behind
A fortune in gold. And now it’s all yours
This caused you to gasp as you fell on the floor
Your heart started racing and pounding to quickly
Blood flow inside you made you all sickly
The anurism finally burst in your brain
Then from your mouth blood started to rain
You fell to the floor with loud sounding CRACK
And that’s why you haven’t called me back.

I hope that I’m wrong and that you’re just fine
The last time I saw you drinking your wine
Things were so good and I want you to know
That I think there’s a future for us. Oh oh oh.

(Chours)
You haven’t called me.
Why oh why?
Are you weirded out by my lazy eye?
You haven’t called me.
What the hell?
That could not have been our final farewell…unless…

Unless after we parted that night in the cold
You were approached by a demon of old
He put you into a hypnotic trance
And brought you back to the vernal equinox dance
Tied you down to big freaking stone
While goblins and monsters licked at your bones
You were the ultimate sacrifice
What a shame you were so pretty and nice
Now your soul’s trapped in an unearthly realm
Burning and searing with Satan at the helm
Your body is gone for all of eternity
And that’s why you haven’t called me.

Bridge
I’m starting to cry over all of this stuff
What if you’re in the back of some mafia guy’s trunk?
Or an amnesiac who can’t remember her name?
All of these thoughts are driving me insane.
It has to be something preventing you from
Getting to your phone and dialing me up
I’m a great guy with so much to give
So the only thing I can think is that you no longer live.
This happens to me quite a lot.
After the first date I never hear squat.
So much senseless violence and obscurity.
This is terrible luck and it happens to me.

(Chorus)
You haven’t called me.
This is dumb
I’m nice and not fat and I think I’m fun.
You haven’t called me.
It’s your loss.
When it comes to great guys I’m the boss.
You haven’t called me.
I’m a great man.
Therefore you must be a lesbian.